life in my hood with 2 teenagers, a toddler and chronic pain

profound saturday morning conversations with little miss t. May 23, 2009


t-3 1/2 (as of today) year old daughter



part 1

t-let’s shoot all the bad guys.

j-what happens when you shoot bad guys?

t-they turn into good guys.

me-oh, good, yes, then let’s definitely shoot all the bad guys.

part 2

t-why does the rabbit like trix?

me-because he likes the way they taste.

t-no, he doesn’t.

me-yes, he does, just like you like fudgcicles.

t-but, you don’t eat trix.  they are a toy.

me-no they’re not. they’re food.

t-no they’re not. (technically, she’s probably right on this point)

me-yes, they are. they are cereal, just like lucky charms.

t-i don’t like lucky charms anymore.

me-oh, really?

t-yes, now i just like rice krispies and smart start.

me-oh, what about fruitas loopas? (we started calling them this when we went to mexico a few years ago)

t-no, not any more.

me-o.k., how about apple jacks?

t-yeah, i like apple jacks, too.

t-but how does the rabbit get trix?

me-he tries to trick the kids into giving him the trix.

t-oh, why?

me-because he likes them….

**Please note, I gave up on giving my kids the “healthy, non-sugary cereals” very soon after my first discovered that they really don’t taste as good as the other crap.  As a parent, we must all pick our battles and this was not one I chose to fight.



we were screwed by the brady bunch April 29, 2009

Filed under: 2 teenagers and a toddler,life's a bitch and so am i — mothahhood @ 6:49 pm
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It occurred to me recently, that those of us who grew up in the seventies had terrible role models on t.v. and by terrible, I mean perfect. My most vivid memory of a mom is Carol Brady. She was the biological mother of 3 girls, and the adoptive mother of 3 boys equaling 6 kids.  The house was always in perfect condition, the kids always clean and well dressed and she always had her shit together, happy, smiling, with words of wisdom for all six of her children. Now, I know that she had a full time housekeeper/cook so she really didn’t have to do any of the grunt work, but nonetheless, I thought she was the mother we were all going to grow up to be.  She too, was always well dressed (or as well dressed as anyone could be in the seventies) and perfectly coifed, although that flippy-dippy hairdo is not something I ever aspired to. I guess the main thing, is that I thought that when you grow up, you somehow get all the answers, that life somehow gets magically easier, and that dinner is always on the table. In fact, the complete opposite is actually true. Adults are just older kids, life gets harder (bills, mortgages, demanding jobs, spouses, houses) with less answers to questions like how to keep the kids always safe, let alone dressed well, what to make for dinner, how to trap the rat that comes and goes as he pleases, how to explain where grampy went when he died, what koala bears’ vaginas are like, etc.  These are not questions I ever saw posed to Carol.  The other thing that I remember is that Carol was always Carol or Mrs. Brady.  When I became a mom, I lost my own identity.  When my son started preschool, I became Jalen’s mom, when my first daughter started school, I became Marley’s mom, and now I am Tessa’s mom.

Anyway, the main thing is, it has taken me a very long time to understand that Carol was no more a real mom, than I am a t.v. star.  And even though I understand this on an intellectual level, I still struggle with the aspiration to be a very Brady mom.

Life is messy, parenthood is wicked messy, and while I know that my life is busy every minute and that on any given day, I perform dozens of tasks, many simultaneously, what the hell did Carol Brady ever actually do with her days?



better luck next time

Filed under: 2 teenagers and a toddler,it's later than you think — mothahhood @ 6:25 am
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It’s late.  I’m tired.  My head is swimming with thoughts.  I spent a beautiful day at a spa, compliments of my mother, today and during the drive back I wrote an entire post in my head, but unfortunately, my head has no “save” button, so I will have to try to re-create it tomorrow. Meanwhile, I finally took a day for myself, a relaxing day, far away from the chaos of my daily life.  I guess I should mention that I never really relax when I’m away from my children, always fearing the worst will happen if I’m not there to prevent it.  I have gotten better over the years, mainly out of necessity, however, the nagging voice is always there.  So, today, I did it.  I took a day, one day, one short day, for myself.  And guess what.  I came home to a sick munchkin-a poor little coughing, sore throated, red faced, fever ridden 3 1/2 year old. So there you have it.  I take a day off and my baby gets sick. Guess I won’t be doing that again any time soon. She is laying next to me in my bed, sleeping. I doubt I’ll sleep much tonight.